Wacky Business Slogans

Here are some creative slogans we’ve spotted in our travels,
plus others from our customers and readers.

Sign over a Gynecologist’s Office:  “Dr. Jones, at your cervix.”

In a Podiatrist’s office:  “Time wounds all heels.”

On a Septic Tank Truck in Oregon:  “Yesterdays’ Meals on Wheels.”

On a Septic Tank Truck sign:  “We’re #1 in the #2 business.”

At a Proctologist’s door:  “To expedite your visit please back in.”

On a Plumber’s truck:  “We repair what your husband fixed.”

On a Plumber’s truck:  “Don’t sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.”

Pizza Shop Slogan:  “7 days without pizza makes one weak.”

At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee:  “Invite us to your next blowout.”

On a Plastic Surgeon’s Office door:  “Hello. Can we pick your nose?”

At a Towing Company:  “We don’t charge an arm and a leg. We just want your tows.”

On an Electrician’s truck:  “Let us remove your shorts.”

In a Non-smoking Area:  “If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.”

On a Maternity Room door:  “Push. Push. Push.”

At an Optometrist’s Office:   “If you don’t see what you’re looking for, you’ve come to the right place.”

On a Taxidermist’s window:  “We really know our stuff.”

On a Fence:  “Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive.”

At a Car Dealership:  “The best way to get back on your feet – miss a car payment.”

Outside a Muffler Shop:  “No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.”

In a veterinarian’s waiting room:  “Be back in 5 minutes… Sit!… Stay!”

At the electric company:  “We would be ‘delighted’ if you send in your payment.  However, if you don’t, you will be.”

In a restaurant window:  “Don’t stand there and be hungry.  Come on in and get fed up.”

In the front yard of a funeral home:  “Drive carefully. We’ll wait.”

At a propane filling station:  “Thank heaven for little grills.”

And don’t forget the sign at a Chicago radiator shop:  “Best place in town to take a leak.”

Sign in a clothing store:  “Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks.”

On a sign on a delicatessen wall:   “Our best is none too good.”

On a sign in a Pennsylvania cemetery:  “Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves.”

Seen on a San Francisco Bay Area coffee shop:  “Shaky Grounds.”

Sign seen on a residential fence in Texas:  “Salesmen welcome!  Dog food is expensive.”

Sign seen at a car dealership in Detroit:  “The best way to get back on your feet… miss a car payment.”  

B&G Turf Farm, Helendale, California:  “We’re easy to get a lawn with.”

Yardvark’s Lawn & Maintenance, Bullhead City, Arizona:  “We do more than mow, blow and go.”

Auto body shop, Fremont, CA (Richard DeBiaso):  “We meet most of our friends by accident.”

Crescent Truck Lines, Hayward, CA (Richard DeBiaso):  “Loaded with experience.”

Nevada City Truffles, Nevada City, California:  “Nobody knows the truffles we’ve seen.”

Hogan’s Window Cleaning, Lake Havasu City, Arizona:  “Your pane is our pleasure.”

A California pest exterminator service (submitted by S. Boyers):  “Hired Killer.”

Western Oregon Glove Company:  “I glove you.”

West Side Laundromat, Helena, Mont:  “Take a spin with us.”

Santa Fe Meat Company:  “Let us steer you in the right direction.”

Smith Gardens, Washington state:  “Our business is growing.”

Orchid Hair Salon, Delta, Colorado:  “We curl up and dye for you.”

Ray’s Radiator Service, Grass Valley, California:  “Don’t let a drip spoil your trip.”

The Tarp Man, a mobile business seen in Arizona:  “We run a shady business.”  

Valley Disposal Company, Grass Valley, California:  “Our business is picking up.” 

Mad Hatter Air Duct Cleaning, Seattle, Wash:  “We kick ash.”

Hey Diddle, Diddle Diaper Service, Hollister, California:  “Let us lighten your load.”

Willits Winching, Willits, California. (submitted by Joanne Moore):  “Can’t get it up?”  

Tahoe House Restaurant and Bakery, Lake Tahoe, California:  “While you sleep, we loaf.”

A furniture refinishing shop near Little Rock, Ark. (submitted by Barry Burton):  “Let us strip for you.”

Salcido Plumbing, King City Calif. (submitted by the Johnsons):  “A good flush beats a full house.”

A California vacuum cleaner store (submitted by S. Boyers): “Business Sucks.”

Dave’s Shoes, Grass Valley, California:  “All the stuff that’s neat for both your feet.”

Art Laminators, Inc., Seattle, Washington:  “The answer to your hang-ups.”  

TVS Complete Auto Repair, Temecula, California (submitted by Steve Augustine):  “Have your work done here… and you’ll never go anywhere else again.”

A car wash in Camp Verde, Arizona (submitted by B.P. Soutrane):  “We Take a Bite out of Grime.”

Dog day care and activity center, Phoenix, AZ (submitted by Joanne Gardiner):  “It’s a Ruff Life.”

Septic service, Sunshine, Wash:  “After the first whiff, call Cliff.”

Glenn’s Pastries, Gallup, New Mexico:  “Get your buns in here.”

Rainbow Touch Massage, Seattle, Washington:  “It’s great to be kneaded.”

Oregon Turf and Tree Farm:  “Here today, lawn tomorrow.”

Real estate agents Shari and Ron Laverty, Seattle, Washington:  “Spouses Selling Houses.”

Art’s Electric, Pullman, Wash:  “Let us remove your shorts.”

Hurtado’s Carpet Cleaning, Hayward, CA:  “We don’t cut corners, we clean them.”

Glacier Ice Company, CA:  “I only have ICE for you.”

Name of a coffee shop in Duluth, MN:  “Jitters.”

We invite you to add a Wacky Business Slogan in the box below.

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